Synchronistically Speaking Ezine

Living Large

Article # 22, Synchronistically Speaking series, January 2010

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

~ Leonardo da Vinci

Have you ever noticed that amongst those of us who believe we must complete a number of prerequisite steps before we can really pursue our most precious dreams and visions, there are those who just go for it - and actually end up succeeding? What is it that would allow a high school graduate to rise to the level of vice president of a large corporation where he started as a janitor, and go on to achieve record success amongst colleagues with Masters level degrees? How is it that young men and women who grew up in the ghetto amidst gangs and violence and poverty could rise up to become leaders whose life stories would inspire millions of others from all backgrounds and circumstances? Stories like these may seem to be the exception rather than the rule, but all around us are people who have done remarkable things despite their odds for success.

What is it that differentiates these people form the rest? And what can we all learn from them? Below are three simple practices high achievers seem to share.

(1) GIVE CREDENCE TO YOUR GREATEST DREAMS AND VISIONS

I believe the first similarity among people who do amazing things in the world is that they have a dream that they lovingly nurture and protect. From somewhere in the depths of their being, they know they are capable of greatness - not because they were born into it or are particularly more gifted than everyone else, but simply because it is their birthright - as it is for all of us. Each one of us has the ability to create something extraordinary. We all have different talents and strengths, diverse styles and passions - along with a unique combination of experiences (for better or worse) that allows us to discover and apply our gifts to create something bigger than ourselves. We may not know exactly what form it will take, but if we pay attention to the whispers and yearnings of our hearts, we begin to make out the shape of something that beckons to us.

As children, most of us received mixed messages. We may have been encouraged to follow our hearts and give life to our dreams, in addition to being conditioned to be practical, hedge our bets and take the safest route. Over time, many of us have allowed the roar of public opinion - that often tells us our dreams are frivolous, selfish and unlikely to come to fruition - to silence that small still voice within. But those among us who have risen against their odds have learned to reverse that process and believe in themselves and their dreams despite overwhelming evidence around them that suggests that success is improbable.

Each year brings with it the questions of what we will focus our time, energy and resources into accomplishing. It is an optimal time to reacquaint ourselves with our dreams and visions, our purpose and values, and the question of how we can become living examples of that which we most admire. You may be quite sure of what it is you would like to create, do, do have or become. Or perhaps you have only small pieces of a bigger puzzle that has not yet come together. The power of your dream will be bolstered by the degree to which your vision expands beyond your own interests to those of others around you. Spend some time contemplating where you feel most drawn and why. When you land on something that will allow your gifts to align with those of others to accomplish complementary goals, you will join forces with something much greater than yourself. It will lift you up when your energy is low and sustain you through moments of doubt and fear.

(2) LET YOUR MANAGER ANSWER TO YOUR LEADER

For years, I was convinced that having a vision and goals meant perceiving a clear and specific picture of what was to come and creating a plan that would ensure that certain milestones were met at designated intervals. I was taught that goals had to be specific, measurable, and time bound (and spent a good part of my career teaching others the same). I would spend a significant amount of time wordsmithing these goals and creating something similar to a detailed project plan as though I could bend reality to my will.And then life would happen and I'd get exceedingly frustrated when things didn't fall into place the way I had planned.

The part of us that wants to identify a course of action that mitigates risk and controls all the variables is akin to a manager, whose responsibility is to plan, organize, direct and control. The challenge is that preconceived ideas of what must be and all that has to happen to bring it to fruition can never take into account all the unexpected twists and turns that each day throws at us. So the manager in each of us needs to take its orders from a higher authority.

This higher authority is our inner leader. The leader lives in the present, takes it cues from its inner and outer environment, and speaks to the hearts as well as the heads of the its people. It is often that part of us that rises up and recognizes when we must make a change in course in order to realize our greater visions. It blends concrete data with intuitive hunches and moves much more fluidly.

The manager in each of us often wants to fix things and tends to place more attention on what is wrong than what is right. It is so concerned with problems that it has a way of identifying with them and unwittingly propagating them. The manager would have us set goals about the behaviors we want to stop, and the things about ourselves that aren't good enough. These goals almost always fail because they lead us to identify with the very state we wish to rise above. We enter into them from a state of lack, and though our behaviors may temporarily change in accordance with detailed plans we have outlined for ourselves, our thoughts about who we are and what's wrong keep us tethered and ultimately lead us to act in ways that reinforce old habits and patterns.

The leader focuses on possibilities and speaks to that part of ourselves and others that has the capability and potential to achieve it. It sees through the eyes of someone who has already realized their goals and visions rather than identifying with the experience of not having been able to do something in the past. The leader in each of us knows that action follows thought and invests time in identifying limiting beliefs and trading them for something more empowering. Rather than moving away from an undesirable place, it focuses on moving toward that which it desires to create.

With the leader in charge, the manager's willfulness is balanced with willingness - willingness to change and adapt even the best laid plans, to reach higher, and to trust in that which is not easily explained or understood.

(3) HAVE FAITH AND TRUST IN SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF

When it comes right down to it, those who achieve and sustain the greatest success in life - whether in a corporation, a school, a team, a community, or a family - get through their most challenging times with faith and trust. This faith might be in those around them who share their dreams and visions as well as the belief that they will come to fruition. It might be faith of a spiritual nature. And it could also be faith in life itself. As we look back over the course of our lives, no doubt there will be both positive as well as less than pleasurable events. When things take a turn that we didn't anticipate, in retrospect we can often appreciate the ways these little deviations strengthened us, helped us get where we needed to ultimately go, or in some way prepared us for what was yet to come.

As we entertain dreams, visions and goals that seem so large that they become daunting, we must not be intimated by the seeming length or difficulty of the journey ahead of us. I was reminded of this years ago on a skiing trip. After an hour or so, the years that had passed since my last skiing excursion no longer seemed significant and my adventurous side led me to a very difficult black run, full of moguls and steep angles. Once I embarked upon the turn, I realized I was in way over my head. At that moment the temperature dropped suddenly and a fog rolled in that was so thick that I could not see more than three feet ahead of me. I began to panic. I wanted more than ever to reach the bottom of the slope and became more fixated on having the run behind me than on the thrill of the experience itself.

As soon as my attention and focus went from the snow in front of me to the bottom of the steep slope, I lost control and came crashing to the ground, losing my skis and feeling the slap of the hard cold ground beneath me. I managed to somehow to get up and put my skis back on, but before long my focus would shift and the same thing would happen again. It was only when I resigned myself to pay attention to what was right in front of me that my body knew how to navigate each mogul. When I let go of having to know exactly how I would get down that mountain and trust that I could make it a few feet at a time, I had everything I needed to succeed.

I think that is how life is too. When we feel dismayed at not having everything figured out right off the bat, we can ask ourselves what we can do right now that will lead us closer to our goals and trust that we will be given exactly what we need to continue our journeys right when we need it. Sometimes conditions are not right for us to proceed full speed ahead, and circumstances take a turn that feel frustrating. Often the skills we need are those that can only be developed through a series of challenges that require us to move out of our comfort zones. We may see these events as setbacks and annoying diversions without realizing their perfect place in the larger orchestration of a course of events we are engaged in that has much greater implications than what we originally envisioned.

Perhaps the whispers of our heart and the calls to greatness that we feel within our souls are essential components of a larger, collective plan that we each play a vital part in. As we rise up to play these parts fully and wholeheartedly, we can revel in that beauty of its mysterious unfolding. In the process, we will discover ourselves to be greater than we thought we were and use each moment of our lives to create something extraordinary for ourselves and others.

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Diane Bolden is passionate about working with leaders to unleash human potential. An executive coach and organization development professional with over 18 years of experience in leadership development, coaching and consulting, Diane has worked with managers, directors and vice presidents/officers in Fortune 500 companies and non profit organizations to achieve higher levels of performance and success by helping them to bring out the best in themselves and everyone around them. To receive her free special report on Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them, visit www.UnleashTheExtraordinary.com.

Check out my new BLOG - Synchronistically Speaking…musings on life, learning and leadership at www.DianeBolden.com/wordpress

My intention is quite simply to uplift and inspire as many people as possible. For more on the origin and purpose of the site, read About This Blog. Recent posts include On the Verge of a New Chapter, about being on the threshold of a new year and viewing our lives as the unfolding of an inspirational story of which we are the main character. Believing is Seeing is about the benefit of giving heed to things the heart knows but the mind cannot yet understand. Space for Things to Come is about letting go of the old to allow room for the new. And Leadership & Limbo Land is about venturing beyond the known, predictable and comfortable to embark upon new adventures and possibilities.

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Create a simple yet powerful plan of intention and action for 2010 ~ A Day of Intention, Discovery and Creating for 2010 on January 23, 2010

Join Victoria Crawford, author of The Art & Practice of Trust: Finding Your Way through Uncertainty, Change & Transition in Phoenix, AZ on January 23rd from 9am to 4pm for a day long workshop to create a simple yet powerful plan of intention and action for your next year! So often before we know it, the year can get away from us and what we have wanted to accomplish gets lost in the demands of everyday living. By taking some focused time you can create a simple plan that will engage your heart and mind and move you toward your greatest desires.

What is that you really want to have happen for yourself or your business in 2010? Attend this day long retreat, away from your everyday life, and take time to reflect, revisit and create a plan that truly reflects your greatest desires for 2010. Yoga, mindfulness and visualizations will be included in the day as well as an opportunity to experience Sandtray, an intuitive process of discovery. You will come away with a simple one page plan for 2010 that will engage your heart and mind and inspire action as well as tools and techniques to help you accomplish your goals. Cost is $129, which includes lunch and all materials. Space is limited. To register, call (602) 870-0060. For more information about Victoria Crawford, go to www.wayofdiscovery.com.

Looking For A Better Way To Influence Lasting Change And Increased Performance In Your Team, Organization Or Community?

Now taking reservations for the next Transformations In Leadership Workshop in Phoenix, AZ

Extraordinary accomplishments and contributions are not the product of the latest innovative approach, tool, or method. They come from the inside out. Leaders must be able to effectively lead themselves before they will have any amount of success in doing the same for others. This two-day workshop will help you differentiate your true source of strength as a leader from erroneous ideas of what you need to do to be successful.

Along the way, you'll learn to utilize a process for identifying and addressing underlying assumptions that have kept you from doing your best work. You'll recognize and harness the power of your thoughts and intentions to create lasting change and apply this knowledge to addressing real business and personal challenges you currently face. You will leave the workshop with a new perspective on yourself, your challenges, and your opportunities-one that will allow you to truly lead in any position or role. To maximize individualized attention and fully personalize your experience, enrollment is limited to five people.

For more information, go to www.UnleashTheExtraordinary.com/Leadership. Upcoming workshops will be scheduled in conjunction with participants' schedules. The cost is $2000 per participant. 501C3 organizations qualify for a discounted rate. To reserve a spot, email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com or call (602) 889-2329.

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