Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

Each year, as December gives way to January, we instinctively feel the opportunity and invitation to begin anew.  One year is over and another has begun, bringing with it the sweetness of infinite possibility.  One way of giving form to these possibilities is to create New Year’s Resolutions.   While it is traditional to make these resolutions at the beginning of the year, the truth is that we can start anytime, anywhere.  It all begins with a desire — sometimes an aspiration to reach higher by beginning something new, and other times a determination to go to the next level of effectiveness with things we’re already doing.   

To create powerful resolutions that are aligned with our highest good, we need to find a way to pull ourselves out of the daily grind and into a space that is big enough for our hearts and minds to roam freely.  It requires that we carve out time to be alone for awhile, so that we can reacquaint ourselves with what’s most important in our lives and tune into what is beckoning to be discovered or unearthed.  In these moments, we can reflect, inquire, and dream.  And we can reconnect with the inner wisdom we all possess that provides the guidance we need to transform vision into reality.

I’ve always found that for some reason, being in an airplane allows me to find clarity.  As the  ground gets further and further away, the little things that consumed my attention before I left seem to get smaller and smaller just like the cars and buildings that slowly disappear out of view.  And then I am flying.  Suddenly I feel as though it is easier to see a bigger picture.  Things fall into place in my mind and I feel energized and optimistic.  I have discovered that climbing mountains and retreating into nature can have a similar effect.

With intention and conscious effort, I believe we can create this experience anywhere, anytime.  The key is to allow our minds to rise above the clamor we are usually surrounded by so that we can get a broader view of our lives and from that perspective see things we may have previously missed.  And this is exactly what we need to do before we can rise above anything else.   Albert Einstein said we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking with which they were created.    When we allow ourselves to get this higher perspective, we can go beyond looking at things to examine the very lens through which we are looking — and make any necessary adjustments.

Our mindsets are like giant projectors.  What we see and do in our lives is based on the movies we are playing and the roles in those movies that we have cast ourselves in.

You can’t expect to be the hero in your adventure if the movie in your mind is a horror flick or tear jerker that has you playing the victim.   So when we set goals, it is not enough to commit ourselves to acting in new ways.  We must also think in new ways.  The other day I heard someone refer to New Year’s resolutions as the opportunity to resolve — or re-solve anything that is holding us back.   And this is exactly what we must do.

It comes down to whatever we identify most with.  If you want to use your time more effectively but you identify with the experience of running late and feeling harried as you rush from one thing to another, it is only a matter of time before your actions will mirror your mindset.  Despite your time management system, you will likely continue to over commit yourself, try to squeeze too many things in, or make more efficient things that really shouldn’t be done at all. 

However, if you begin to experience what it would feel like to think from the mindset of someone who always seems to get the most important things done and have ample time to enjoy life and everything in it,  you will make different decisions, know intuitively what you must let go of and come up with actions and habits that support your new way of thinking.  And you are far more likely to have lasting success.

Upon reflection, I realized that I long for more simplicity and peace in my life, as well as the ability to boldly tackle new endeavors without making them into huge feats that leave me exhausted and overwhelmed.  I have noticed that I have a tendency to complicate and resist some of the things that I know are good for me, but that I am scared of for one reason or another.  In the past I’ve allowed my fear to make things much harder than they need to be — probably so that I can rationalize my resistance to them. 

It will not be enough for me to set a goal to simplify more, complicate less, and take bolder action.  I need to change my mindset from someone who is overwhelmed and overly cautious and fearful about big, bold endeavors to someone who has clear resolve, determination and a lightness that allows me to take myself and everything I do less seriously. 

The other day a handyman came over to fix a dozen or so things that I have been procrastinating for months.  Every time I looked at that list, I felt weighed down.  I never intended to actually fix them all myself, but for whatever reason even thinking about it felt heavy (similar to how some of my major projects have felt.)  As I watched this man spring into action, easily taking care of one thing after another in a matter of minutes and cheerfully coming back to the list to see what was next, I realized that he has the mindset that I need. 

What would it be like to see from that perspective?  What would it feel like to power through important projects and new endeavors with such lightness?  That is what I need to get my head around and into in order for my new behavior to take root.

As we go about our resolutions and goals, we would do well to ask ourselves what achieving those things would give us.  How will they make us feel?  When we can create the feeling of having achieved them, we begin to embody the mindset we need to project the movie we really want to see.  It is important to word goals in the present tense, because these goals are really not so much about what we want to create in the future as what we want to embody and take pleasure in now.  The results have a way of catching up to us. 

When we can already enjoy the feeling of having what we seek and see through the eyes of someone who has already arrived, we can go about achieving our goals with much more lightness, ease and joy.  And from that place, we can inspire others to do the same.

If you’d like to read more about the power our thoughts have in affecting our reality and achieving our greatest goals and visions and how to align them for your greatest success, check out my new book The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  For more information or to order, go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.

“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.”

~ Henry B. Adams

Like many, I was brought up to think that things happened in a linear way – first this, then that, one building block upon another in a specific order, cause and effect.  I have since realized that when one has a larger vision and experiences this vision as though it has already happened, a chain of events is triggered that results in what may appear to be a disjointed series of events that is in reality very connected.  

This can be compared to watching a movie of a glass shattering in reverse motion.  The pieces come from all directions, seemingly unrelated, to assemble into a perfect whole.  Each piece is absolutely necessary, in and of itself incomplete and incomprehensibly connected to a bigger picture.

There are ups and downs and what may feel like divergent paths from that which we may have previously anticipated.  However, these seemingly divergent paths are absolutely necessary for us to experience the totality of our vision.  Sometimes a part of the healing process involves the experience of pain, or other symptoms.  While we may point to these as signs that there is illness present, we could more accurately see them as evidence of our healing. 

We may not realize the significance or relevance of these experiences until much later, when looking in retrospect we become aware of the distinct reason that we needed to endure any given challenge, setback, delay, or what originally felt like an irrelevant nuisance.  These obstacles give us a greater perspective on who we are, a larger appreciation for where we have been and where we are going, and a compassion for others who experience the same things we have along the way. 

In dealing with these little challenges, we realize that we are far greater than we thought we were.  And as leaders, we can help others appreciate and leverage their own chaos as well.

“Whatever you do in this life, take time to sit quietly and let the world tell you what it needs from you.  Take a moment to honestly understand what your gifts are – you all have them.  The way you choose to live your life brings meaning to your life.” 

~ Ann Reed

 It is amazing to me the number of people in this world who stay in jobs that they are miserable doing.  They often rationalize that must make the best of it, but in refusing to consider the options that are right before them, they may not even realize what the “best” is.  When you allow yourself to stagnate, ignoring the impulses and desires you may have to bust out of your self created constraints, you also unintentionally block the energy that you could be freeing up in those who surround you, whether they be your direct reports, your peers, your customers, your family members, or even your boss.  You do not do the world any favors by playing small.

You possess an inborn talent that allows you to do something in a way that no one else can.  When you find this talent and apply it to an area of opportunity or need within an organization, you can create a job for yourself that will reward you with immense gratification and joy.  You will be able to achieve extraordinary results with ease, and accomplish things that no one previously realized was possible.  And you will serve a vital function for the organization or community of which you are a part, which will in turn provide you with a deep sense of meaning and purpose.

The key to doing this is to pay attention to what you work on that gives you extreme satisfaction and joy and seems to come naturally to you.  It’s easy to downplay our strengths – to rationalize that they are no big deal, that everyone can do what you believe are silly little things as well as you can.  The truth is that not only can not everybody do those things with the level of skill and quality of results that you can, but also that not everybody would want to. 

Creating your ideal job or opportunity is a lot like looking for the perfect candidate for a job – except in reverse.  When companies look to hire someone, they do well to spend some time identifying the specific qualifications the ideal candidate will possess – attributes, experience, behaviors, styles, skills, etc.  When creating the ideal opportunity, you are that ideal candidate spelling out the distinct responsibilities and type of work that would be a perfect match for your talents.  The more specific and concrete the job description and ideal candidate description, the more likely a company will find their person.  And the more specific and concrete your picture of the ideal opportunity for you, the more likely it will come finding you.

Even if all you can begin to do right now is entertain the idea that perhaps there is something grander out there for you, that is aligned with your talent, interests and passion, you will begin to mobilize energy in ways you could not before.  The more you can inwardly make it real for yourself, the more it will outwardly come to be.  As you move toward unleashing your true talent and being open to the opportunities that begin to present themselves to you, you will see the way to lead others -  inspiring them to bring out the best in themselves by giving them an example of how it is done.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Well, I finally finished writing the book I’ve been working on for the last four years – the first draft that is.  I’m well aware that the real work is only just beginning.  The whole creative process has reminded me of actually physically giving birth in so many ways, though my gestation period with the book was more than four times longer.  Come to think of it, so was the labor. 

 It started with the glow of an idea.  I don’t know if it showed up in my face as it may have when I was pregnant with each of my three children, but I felt it throughout my body.  The idea inspired and uplifted me and began to take on a life of its own.  As it continued to take form and I scribbled down notes that would flesh out the initial concepts, the excitement grew. 

Once there was no mistaking that I would be bringing the book into the world, morning sickness set in.  When I wasn’t working on the manuscript, I felt a gnawing sense of uneasiness that beckoned me to devote time at my computer.  And when I was writing, I often had the insatiable urge to eat – especially when I felt as though the words I needed just weren’t coming fast enough.  This of course, was occasionally followed by nausea and stomach cramps.  Thankfully, no maternity clothes were necessary.

I learned that just as you cannot rush the development of a baby’s hand or ear, it is also true that you simply cannot force inspiration.  I found that my best writing came when I relaxed enough into the process to get out of my head and let something bigger come through me.  It became clear over the many months that followed that it was not mine to determine what the creation would look like or to fret over whether I was doing a good enough job with it.  It was an idea – a seed – that was within me but had surely originated from something greater.  The best thing I could do was to get out of the way and let the thing evolve as it needed to.  When I learned to content myself with simply being a vessel, things went much more smoothly.

And then as I got to the last few chapters, my level of urgency and excitement went through the roof.  I couldn’t stop writing.  Several nights a week, I woke up at two, three or four in the morning and after lying in bed wide awake for twenty or thirty minutes, simply got up and went to my computer.  The labor had begun.  And it soaked up every ounce of attention and energy I had.  I stalled on the final chapter.  I wanted the thing out – free and clear.  After writing a couple of lame sentences I fooled myself into thinking perhaps it was done.  And then I had another contraction, this one so strong and powerful that it wiped those last two sentences out and left three pages of afterword in their place. 

For a week or so, the manuscript lay sleeping peacefully, breathing softly, wrapped in swaddling.  Thoroughly and completely exhausted, I couldn’t bring myself to do much of anything.   And then I realized the little guy needs care and feeding to survive.  I hired an editor to help me nurse it.  The poor thing probably has a lopsided head from being in the birth canal so long.  It needs suctioning and baby wipes and probably a good lukewarm bath too. 

And I find myself now in much the same place I did after my first child was born – with the blissful yet sobering knowledge that I am now a parent – or, well, an author.  That this little thing needs me to help it make its way in the world – to support its head until its muscles are strong enough to lift it on its own, and to nurture it to the place that others can hold and enjoy it as much as I do.  Just as there are seemingly millions of books, articles and blogs written on how to raise a child, the myriad of opinions and recommendations on next steps with the manuscript are completely overwhelming.  I comfort myself with the thought that with each of my three children I felt that same sense of panic and wonder.  And that with love, dedication and an occasional bit of sleep I ended up learning everything I needed to know along the way.  I have to believe this creation will be no different. 

Its name is The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming Real:  Authentic Leadership for the 21^st Century.  Welcome to the world, little one!

 Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

As many of you already know, I’ve been working on writing a book on authentic leadership for over three years now (and I’m almost done!) The process of writing has illuminated many things for me, one of which is the power I believe each of us has to create the reality we experience. Last week, I wrote an entire chapter on that. And I found myself musing over the fact that while many of the experiences I’ve envisioned for myself have come to be, others have not. As I pondered the reasons for that, this month’s ezine article, Harnessing the Power of Thought, emerged. Below is an excerpt and you can click the link to read the full article.

Harnessing the Power of Thought

“There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.”

~Orison Marden Swett

The above quote is one of many I have seen over the years that references our ability to create that which we most desire. In his beautiful book “As a Man Thinketh”, first published in 1901, James Allen writes “Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” Henry David Thoreau wrote “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” And Napoleon Hill affirmed, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

This power is not the result of a magic pill or some kind of sorcery. Rather than being something we must rely on others for, it is a gift we are all born with that we gradually learn to utilize as we become more and more aligned with what is most true within us. This gift is quite simply the strength of the feeling we generate when we identify with something so specifically that we take it to be real. With sustained and unwavering belief, whatever we hold in our minds and our hearts in this way becomes our reality.

As a teenager I began to read a lot about the power of positive thinking and visualization. I was enthralled by stories of athletes who would spend time imagining themselves sinking those critical shots to go on at game time and perform exactly as they rehearsed in their minds. I utilized affirmations of positive intent around the person I was becoming and the wonderful things that were coming into my life. I played with creating vision boards for myself, made from large poster paper with various pictures of things I wanted to have or symbols that represented experiences I longed for glued onto it. I created movies in my head that featured me performing anything from sports to public speaking powerfully and passionately with great success. Many of these visions and dreams have come true over the years. And some have not.

I have reflected at length on what it might be that differentiated the dreams and visions that came to fruition from those that didn’t. And I have come to the conclusion that there are three significant factors… click here to read the full article 

A few weeks ago in a karate class I heard a marvelous Zen story that spoke to the incessant yearning we all feel from time to time to be more, do more, and have more.  This desire at times gives us the strength we need to power through some of life’s most imposing obstacles.  At other times, it has a way of creating obstacles of its own.  How can we use our aspirations in ways that work for us, and help others in the process?  That is the subject of an article called The Art of Affluence that I wrote for my February ezine.  Below is an excerpt with a link to the full article.  I hope you enjoy it!

A wise master was walking along the sandy banks of a lazy river, breathing deeply, enjoying the feel of sunshine on his skin, and taking in the beauty all around him.  Just across the river one of his students was walking anxiously back and forth, scanning the perimeter of the river and the surrounding land.  When the student saw his master, he began waving his arms and shouting, “Master! Master!”  The Master looked up and waited silently for his student to continue.  “Master,” said his student, “How do I get to the other side?”  The master simply replied, “You are already there!”

One of the many things this Zen story speaks to is the desire we all have to be more, do more, and have more.   And one thing people throughout history can’t ever seem to get enough of is money. 

Wealth has been used as a scorecard for success throughout the ages.  From its conception, its lure has led many to do things that are not in the best interests of others.  We have been conditioned to believe that it is the key to freedom, happiness, and security.   People often take jobs that are not truly aligned with their talents because they fear that without them, they will not have the money they need to satisfy their basic needs.  Many seek positions of leadership because of the increased pay it has to offer and all the things they could buy as a result. 

Money has also allowed organizations and people to expand their level of influence, improve the quality of services and products they offer, and attract key talent that will allow their visions to become  reality.  It allows programs to be created and perpetuated that improve the quality of life within communities and the world at large.  It pays our bills and puts food on the table.  And it allows us to travel and buy things of beauty and utility that can become the source of inspiration and joy.

There is nothing wrong with wealth, just as there is nothing wrong with prestige, power or pride.  The key is the manner in which these needs are met, and where the desire for them originates.  If the aspiration is for a greater purpose – one that is not solely self serving, the desire is aligned with a higher good and the resulting outcome will be as well. 

If the motive is not in the best interests of others, it is more aligned with ego and likely to lead to objectionable behavior, such as greed, envy, insensitivity, arrogance, and paranoia.  Those who attain what they seek in an effort to serve others are far more likely to sustain it.  Those whose motives and tactics are more aligned with serving themselves alone will live in fear of the inevitable loss of their fleeting success. 

Often people are drawn to formal positions of leadership for what they have to offer – power, control, prestige, and higher pay.  These things feed the ego, which would have us believe our inherent value is equated with them and that the more we have, do or achieve, the more successful we are.  The problem is that no matter how much power, control, prestige, and money we acquire, it never seems to be enough.  Life becomes a series of races, battles, and games to be won with little time left to savor the victories, which are often short lived.  Click here for the full article. 

If you’d like to receive new articles each month as soon as they are published, go to www.DianeBolden.com to subscribe.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Are you dreaming big enough?  If so, you may often feel overwhelmed by the seeming magnitude of what lies before you. 

As we entertain dreams, visions and goals that seem so large that they become daunting, we must not be intimidated by the seeming length or difficulty of the journey ahead of us.  I was reminded of this years ago on a skiing trip.  After an hour or so, the years that had passed since my last skiing excursion no longer seemed significant and my adventurous side led me to a very difficult black run, full of moguls and steep angles.  Once I embarked upon the run, I realized I was in way over my head.  At that moment the temperature dropped suddenly and a fog rolled in that was so thick that I could not see more than three feet ahead of me.  I began to panic.  I wanted more than ever to reach the bottom of the slope and became more fixated on having the run behind me than on the thrill of the experience itself. 

 As soon as my attention and focus went from the snow in front of me to the bottom of the steep slope, I lost control and came crashing to the ground, losing my skis and feeling the slap of the hard cold ground beneath me.  I managed to somehow to get up and put my skis back on, but before long my focus would shift and the same thing would happen again.  It was only when I resigned myself to pay attention to what was right in front of me that my body knew how to navigate each mogul.  When I let go of having to know exactly how I would get down that mountain and trust that I could make it a few feet at a time, I had everything I needed to succeed. 

I think that is how life is too.  When we feel dismayed at not having everything figured out right off the bat, we can ask ourselves what we can do right now that will lead us closer to our goals and trust that we will be given exactly what we need to continue our journeys right when we need it.  Sometimes conditions are not right for us to proceed full speed ahead, and circumstances take a turn that feel frustrating.  Often the skills we need are those that can only be developed through a series of challenges that require us to move out of our comfort zones.  We may see these events as setbacks and annoying diversions without realizing their perfect place in the larger orchestration of a course of events we are engaged in that has much greater implications than what we originally envisioned. 

Perhaps the whispers of our heart and the calls to greatness that we feel within our souls are essential components of a larger, collective plan that we each play a vital part in.  As we rise up to play these parts fully and wholeheartedly, we can revel in the beauty of its mysterious unfolding.  In the process, we will discover ourselves to be greater than we thought we were and use each moment of our lives to create something extraordinary for ourselves and others.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

This post is an excerpt from an article called Living Large, published in my January ezine.  To subscribe (it’s free), and to access the rest of the article, go to www.DianeBolden.com/articles.   You will receive future monthly articles as well as my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

 What do you find easier – dreaming big, or finding a way to make those dreams come true? 

 Most of us have more difficulty with the latter.  If you don’t, you may not be dreaming big enough.  One of my clients and I were recently musing about what makes realizing those dreams and visions so difficult.  We felt that the toughest part is connecting the vision to reality:  identifying and executing the steps that must be taken to get from here to there. 

 For years, I was convinced that having a vision and goals meant perceiving a clear and specific picture of what was to come and creating a plan that would ensure that certain milestones were met at designated intervals.  I was taught that goals had to be specific, measurable, and time bound (and spent a good part of my career teaching others the same).  I would spend a significant amount of time wordsmithing these goals and creating something similar to a detailed project plan as though I could bend reality to my will.   And then life would happen and I’d get exceedingly frustrated when things didn’t fall into place the way I had planned. 

The part of us that wants to identify a course of action that mitigates risk and controls all the variables is akin to a manager, whose responsibility is to plan, direct, organize, and control.  The challenge is that preconceived ideas of what must be and all that has to happen to bring it to fruition can never take into account all the unexpected twists and turns that each day throws at us.  So the manager in each of us needs to take its orders from a higher authority.

This higher authority is our inner leader.  The leader lives in the present, takes its cues from its inner and outer environment, and speaks to the hearts as well as the heads of its people.  It is often that part of us that rises up and recognizes when we must make a change in course in order to realize our greater visions.  It blends concrete data with intuitive hunches and moves much more fluidly. 

The manager in each of us often wants to fix things and tends to place more attention on what is wrong than what is right.  It is so concerned with problems that it has a way of identifying with them and unwittingly propagating them.  The manager would have us set goals about the behaviors we want to stop, and the things about ourselves that aren’t good enough.  These goals almost always fail because they lead us to identify with the very state we wish to rise above.  We enter into them from a state of lack, and though our behaviors may temporarily change in accordance with detailed plans we have outlined for ourselves, our thoughts about who we are and what’s wrong keep us tethered and ultimately lead us to act in ways that reinforce old habits and patterns.

The leader focuses on possibilities and speaks to that part of ourselves and others that has the capability and potential to achieve it.  It sees through the eyes of someone who has already realized their goals and visions rather than identifying with the experience of not having been able to do something in the past.  The leader in each of us knows that action follows thought and invests time in identifying limiting beliefs and trading them for something more empowering.  Rather than moving away from an undesirable place, it focuses on moving toward that which it desires to create. 

With the leader in charge, the manager’s willfulness is balanced with willingness – willingness to change and adapt even the best laid plans, to reach higher, and to trust that something greater than ourselves will help us get where we most need to go.   

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

This post is an excerpt from an article called Living Large, published in my January ezine.  To subscribe (it’s free), and to access the rest of the article, go to www.DianeBolden.com/articles.   You will receive future monthly articles as well as my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Believing Is Seeing

The other day my kids had a play date with some friends and I overheard part of a conversation where one of them was telling the other that Santa Claus wasn’t real.  I heard my eight year old son vehemently defending the jolly old man, with elaborate explanations of why that which wasn’t easily proven was worthy of believing in anyway.  I had to laugh, as I flashed back to one of my own experiences with a little girl in my neighborhood who made fun of me for believing that a fat man in a red coat actually came down my chimney every year.  I was so mad that when she wasn’t looking, I broke all her crayons and put them back in the box (and spent the rest of that season worrying that my little passive aggressive outburst put me on the naughty list).

I have since learned that it is okay if everyone doesn’t believe the same things I do, and my son will learn that too.  But he is the one who taught me something that day.   I was buoyed by his unwavering belief and faith in something he’s never really seen and inspired by his example.   Regardless of what each child ends up getting for Christmas, I can’t help but believe that those who trust in something magical will experience that magic in ways the skeptics will not.  And I think the same is true in life.   

There will always be someone around to tell us what we want to create or accomplish cannot be done.  And there will also always be people who upon being so told, will do it anyway.  Their faith, determination and belief in something they have yet to see will allow them to persevere until their dreams become reality.   People in this second category do not need to engage in debates, for their actions are sufficient not only as a testament to what they believe, but as an inspiration to others who may begin to suspend their own doubt about what is possible.

One of my favorite authors on personal and spiritual growth, Alan Cohen, once said “You do not need to get others to believe in your truth.  You just need to live it.” 

In a world where much is uncertain and the old success formulas no longer seem to work, I believe it is more important than ever to trust in what we know to be true in hearts, even if our minds cannot figure it all out.  It may go against what we have been conditioned to believe, see and do, and perhaps this makes it even more important.  To bust out of old paradigms that keep us from realizing our greatness, perhaps we need to stop questioning what is possible and start challenging our limits instead.   As we do, we will begin to make manifest that which we previously only dreamed was possible, and through our example show others the way to rise.

I wish you a beautiful, sacred holiday and the realization of your most treasured dreams in the coming New Year.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2009.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Leader Know Thyself, You Can Be the Change We Need, and Leadership Lit Up.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Santa Claus photo by StephenLance from Photobucket.com.

Moments of Meaning

I’m sitting in my living room as I write this, looking at our Christmas tree.  It’s tall, beautiful and bare – the lights and ornaments are still in boxes in the garage along with the rest of holiday decorations waiting to be unearthed and put to use.  On my desk is a growing list of things to do – presents to buy, cards to send, and parties to plan for – amongst all the other things that need to be done that aren’t holiday related.   “You ready for Christmas?” people often ask each other.   I don’t know if I’m ever ready – from the standpoint of having all those boxes checked, anyway. 

I know there are people out there – you may be one of them – who finished their holiday shopping weeks ago, had their houses beautifully decorated on or before Thanksgiving day and seem to find the time to make cookies and fudge and send handmade cards to everyone they know.  I have secretly dreamt of being one of those people, and maybe someday I will be.  I’ve tended to identify more with those who dash to the mall on Christmas eve for that one last present they forgot about and return home to feverishly wrap gifts before people come over, hoping desperately for time to shower – all the while swearing that next year will be different.

It’s not the supreme organization of the people in the first category that I envy and admire, though I do also have secret dreams of eliminating the clutter that seems to find its way into every cabinet, closet, and drawer in our house (that’s a post for another time…).   What I really long for is the ability to simply enjoy every aspect of the holidays – to experience and celebrate its true meaning without feeling as though it is a race whose shotgun start I must have somehow missed.  It is a season of giving, of sharing, and of celebrating something bigger than ourselves – allowing it to bring us together and transform our everyday lives into something sacred.

I realize as I write these words that this opportunity is always available to us.  With every gift we buy or wrap, every card we send, every decoration we hang up, we have the ability to infuse it with presence – our ability to be truly engaged not only with whatever it is we are doing, but with the bigger reason of WHY we are doing it – even if we get a late start at it.  Perhaps the ideal is not in being able to do more things sooner, but to put more of ourselves into the things we are able to do now despite whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. 

When people take the time to do this – to really pour their hearts into whatever they are doing, you can feel it.  The cards that arrive in our mailbox that have been perfunctorily generated don’t seem to move us as much as those people have taken the time to hand write something in – even if it is just our name.  And the gifts that had some element of thought in them often end up meaning more to us than those someone spent a lot of money on.  The true spirit of giving is really more about the spirit than the gift itself.

And the spirit of giving and celebration doesn’t have to end once December is over.  We have the ability to enrich every moment of our lives with it.  Albert Camus once said, “Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.”  That means forgetting about all our preoccupations and busyness and being right here, right now – truly engaged in the purpose of whatever it is we are doing and deeply connected to whoever we are with.  In business and in life, this seems to be a practice that separates the most truly prosperous and successful people from all the rest.  They have a knack for making people feel valued and for infusing meaning into whatever it is they do or invite others to do.  They spend their time doing what is most important and pour their hearts and souls into it.  As a result, they are living examples of whatever they believe most strongly in. 

Perhaps this is the true art of giving, living and leading – one that transcends holidays and spills over into our every day lives.  And maybe it’s never too late to start.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2009.  All rights reserved.

Christmas tree photo from Photobucket.com by AmethystOrbs.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy The Gift of Generosity, which will soon be published in my December ezine.  To subscribe (it’s free), go to www.DianeBolden.com.  As a bonus, I’ll send you my special report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.   You may also enjoy Give Presence.  Download this and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles.