Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

Procrastination Perfected

I blocked the day off to write today.  This morning when I went to my computer, I noticed I wasn’t getting an internet connection.  I spent the next thirty five minutes on the phone with the cable company taking direction from a pleasant, but somewhat annoying computer generated voice that had me unplugging and replugging various devices.  When my signal finally returned, I happily dove into my email, saw a request from a client, and endeavored to fulfill it – figuring it would only take a few minutes.  Forty five minutes later, I realized that my Quickbooks program was inexplicably creating random invoices .  Looking into the situation, I saw some  numbers that were wrong and ended up spending the next hour and a half going from one screen to another, scratching my head.  While I was in there I thought it might be a good idea to get a better handle on my monthly expenses, so I did a review of them and created a spreadsheet.

My stomach started to churn, and realizing it was lunchtime I went into the kitchen to warm something up.  Eating in would allow me to save time, I figured.    And it did, until I brought my dirty dish to the sink and decided that I would feel better if I washed the other dirty dishes that were sitting there.  Scraping crusted cocoa puffs from plastic cereal bowls, I wistfully imagined the day my kids would actually learn to clean up after themselves.  Then I realized that I still needed to put together an art masterpiece presentation for my oldest son that I would be doing in his classroom tomorrow.  I pulled the packet from the pile of other things waiting for me to get to and went through the materials to see if the notes previous presenters left in there were adequate.  As I read, I became fascinated with the Chamash Indians, whose rock paintings the class would be discussing.  I did a quick internet search to see if I could unearth any additional interesting facts and ended up getting sucked into a related website on shamans and the role they played in ancient civilizations. 

Coming to my senses an hour later, I spent the next twenty five minutes creating a document for parents to explain what the kids would talk about and do in class during my time with them – all the while wondering if anyone ever really read those things.  And then I finally pulled the materials together and put them back in the packet, realizing that I pretty much had everything I needed for that project from the start and kicking myself for wasting so much time.  I looked at the clock and remembered that in an hour and a half I would need to pick my son up and take him to soccer practice.   Wow.  Woefully little time left.  I still needed to prepare for the client meetings I would be having the next day, and then I would take a shot at writing, I reasoned.  I spent the majority of my remaining time prepping, save for the two phone calls that shook my concentration and sent me back to my email to take action on them.  While I was there, I saw a new subscriber alert appear in my inbox. 

I suddenly realized why I felt so disappointed in myself.  It wasn’t that I didn’t accomplish anything of value (though I will concede that I did seem to spend time doing quite a few things that had little or no value).  I had broken a promise I made to myself and as a result got sucked into a myriad of activities that were completely unrelated to the one thing I really wanted to do today – WRITE.  The painful irony of it all is that what I blocked the day to work on was a new chapter of the book I’m writing – a chapter about – ready for this? – PROCRASTINATION and other AVOIDANCE MECHANISMS and DIVERSIONARY ACTIVITIES that keep us from unearthing our greatness.

That one new subscriber returned me to my place of power.  I had spent the day gripped by fear that kept me from rising above the minutia to do what was most important.  My fear was related to stories I have that convince me that writing will be harder than I think and that I may not be able to do justice to the subjects I feel called to write about.  In that one moment, reflecting on the fact that someone took the time to click that button and read my stuff helped me to remember that it isn’t really about me at all.  It is about what I can do for others.  And most of us can relate more to each other’s mistakes and missteps than we can to their successes. 

So, let the mistakes and sloppy writing rip.  Let the email wait.  Let the dishes sit.  Leave the bookeeping and other administrative tasks to people on my team that are far better qualified for and passionate about those tasks than I am.  If that new subscriber would have appeared this morning when I checked my email, would I have spent the day differently?  Probably.  Upon reviewing the day I thought of all the things I could have done to stay focused (tactics I teach my clients to use when they fall into the same traps I did – mostly because I need to learn them myself).  And then I realized that today’s experience inspired me to write this post – and gave me some great fodder for my new chapter.  Tomorrow will be a new day.  And I will rise to meet it with a greater source of energy and inspiration than I did today.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2009.  All rights reserved.

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