Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

Have you ever had a career disappointment that shook you to your core? I did, and it was early in my career. When it first happened, I was bitter, frustrated and scared. But what I ended up learning from the experience was pivotal to my future. And to this day, I am still grateful. 

I know many people out there are enduring all kinds of career shakeups and also know that I am always heartened to hear stories of people who were able to take fairly lousy situations and find a way to benefit from them.  It is in this spirit that I share my story with you – (1) The Situation, (2) The Strategy, and (3) Lessons Learned.  Please feel free to share your own experiences, advice or questions by clicking on “Add a Comment” above.

THE SITUATION:

My first job after college was at an advertising agency. Having yet to arrive at the realization of what I wanted to do with my life, I took the job because it had elements of what I studied in college: English, business and communication – and because it sounded fun and interesting. I started as an administrative assistant with the promise that it wouldn’t be long before I would be promoted into something a bit more substantive.

Turns out advertising just wasn’t my thing. The work itself didn’t pique much interest in me, but I was intrigued with the organization and the people in it. Turnover was high, morale was low, and the customer was an afterthought. I knew that all that could be changed – that something could be done to allow people to feel more alive in their jobs, to ensure that the customer was happy, that the company was growing and profitable. So I got to work talking to people. I interviewed smart, ambitious entry level personnel, who felt discouraged and overlooked when the jobs they were working toward were filled by people from outside of the company.

I talked to new creative staff and account executives who came in and hit the ground running, knowing little about the agency or its customer. I spoke with seasoned executives who lamented that no one seemed to care about what was most important anymore. I integrated all their insights, ideas and suggestions with my own observations and created a proposal to implement a program that would allow seasoned people to train and mentor newer folks, better integrate with the customer, and grow the business from within.

Knowing little about corporate politics, I went straight to the VP of Operations with my proposal to create the program and allow me to run it. He listened intently, asked several questions, and arranged subsequent meetings with others in the company. It wasn’t long before a position was created. My boss at the time, who wasn’t impressed with my lack of passion for being an administrative assistant or the fact that I went over her head with my proposal (which I never even told her I was working on) was outraged.

She called upon her networks to put a stop to things. A few days later I was told that while the company was going to create the position and launch the program I proposed, because of all the controversy, they could not allow me to head it up. I was crushed. I remember walking across the agency’s glossy floors and out the tall glass double doors of the building, burning with animosity, rage, and frustration at the seeming injustice of it all.

THE STRATEGY:

In the weeks that followed my indignant resignation, the anger and bitterness gradually released me from its grip and I began to feel a sense of calm clarity. I was onto something here. Maybe there was a way that I could work with corporations, organizations and people themselves to bring out their latent talent and harness it in a way that could contribute to a common goal. I went to the local bookstore and bought a copy of What Color is Your Parachute and dedicated myself to doing the soul searching exercises there and taking action to learn about work and potential opportunities that were more aligned with my core talents, interests and passions.

Somewhere in my search I discovered that in many corporations there was a department called organization development that employed people to do the kind of things I tried to do at the advertising agency, and more of the kind of work that truly excited and inspired me. I began to ask around and find people who actually did these jobs. Some of them were people that friends of mine knew. I began to interview them, asking about how they got started, what they loved and didn’t love so much about their jobs, and what advice they would have for someone like me who wanted to break into the field. At the end of every interview, I asked for the names and numbers of three more people they would recommend I speak with. I ended up building a pretty great network and it wasn’t long before one of the people I spoke with called me with an opportunity to do an internship at a local hospital in their organization development department.

I was thrilled and ended up learning the ropes from incredibly talented mentors who allowed me to take part in projects that were intriguing, challenging and incredibly rewarding. I was an intern for less than a year before I was offered a permanent position doing satisfying and empowering work I didn’t even realize was out there when I was scratching my head back in college trying to answer the question of what I wanted to do with my life. And each subsequent opportunity I have had has helped me further refine and hone what I love to do into a career that lights me up allows me to continue to grow and evolve.

LESSONS LEARNED:

Among the many things I learned from that experience are the following:

• That defining moment led me on a search that would allow me to find ways to do more of the work that beckoned to me. It launched a chain of events that has led me to learn more about myself and make the most of experiences that would further prepare me for the work that I do now. And I am grateful – so completely and utterly grateful – that it happened, though at the time I thought it was the worst possible thing.
• Sometimes the biggest disappointments are actually precursors to the most amazing opportunities. I learned not to allow my frustration, anger and sadness (even if it is justified) to blind me to what is knocking on my door. I learned to let myself be angry for a short period if I need to and then challenge myself to figure out what positive action to take to get closer to where I really want to be. I try to focus my energy and attention into moving toward something I want rather than away from something I don’t want.
• It’s okay if I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life. This experience taught me that anything I do will prepare me for whatever I’ll do next. I may not know exactly the kind of work that is my best fit until I see what is out there and notice what excites me and what doesn’t. If I can find a way to love the job I’m in, I will benefit by learning more about myself and developing skills that I will be able to use anywhere I go.
• I realized that I don’t necessarily have to leave my job or the company I work for to do something that I love. If I pay attention to what intrigues me and take action to align my natural curiosities and talents with the unmet needs I see wherever I am, it’s possible that the solutions I propose could land me a whole new role – one that is custom designed for me, even when there are no jobs posted on the company’s internal job board.
• I learned the importance of being willing to take a risk and let go of needing my career to turn out exactly the way I think it should. Even though I initially thought the risk I took ended in failure when I didn’t get the position I helped create, it ended up opening my eyes to opportunities I didn’t even know existed. It prepared me for a career in an organization that was far more aligned with my interests and values.

Future photo by graur razvan ionut from FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Light bulb photo by Pixomar from FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Open mind photo by Idea go from FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

For more on Career Comebacks:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

Navigating Sudden Change

Leveraging Chaos

Leading Through Uncertainty

Embracing Life’s Uncertainty

Are you at your wits end in your job, career, relationship, life in general? Experiencing delays, frustration, confusion, and even a little fear? Well, you might be closer to achieving something amazing than you think.

My last post, On the Verge of Transformation, featured an interview with a caterpillar.  The above video continues the play by play in the life of a caterpillar, only this time from the inside of the cocoon (or chrysalis, if you want to be technically correct). I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s what I said in the video:

My daughter has this butterfly pavilion that we’ve been raising butterflies in. It’s been days since all the other chrysalises hatched.  In fact, we let nine butterflies go out in the garden the other day.  But there’s one that’s still in there, in its cocoon.  We look at it every day hoping that we’ll catch it as its just emerging and it’s still in there.

I know it’s not dead because when I push on the side of the habitat, the chrysalis shakes gently, which is something that I learned they do to ward off predators. And, I can’t help but think how often we feel this way:  we’re in this cocoon, there’s all kinds of change that’s happening, we’re not really sure which direction is up, and we’re the last one. For some of us, it takes longer than others.

If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the cocoon, I think it’s probably very uncommon.  And uncomfortable.

I read a story about a man who actually saw a butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and used scissors to try to gently help the butterfly out. The butterfly fell out of the cocoon and it’s body was small and shriveled.  It just kind of stumbled around on the ground and was finally just still.

What this man learned later was that to get out of the cocoon, the butterfly has to encounter the resistance. In the act of bumping up and busting out of the cocoon, the butterfly’s body fills up with fluid that it needs in order to spread its wings and be free and to turn into the beautiful creature that it is.

It’s such a great reminder to us that just when we feel things are at their darkest, and everything’s closing in and you just can’t take another minute of it — maybe that’s when we’re the closest to actually being ready to bust out. And maybe instead of thinking of all the resistance as overwhelming and exhausting, we can think of it as that final push we need to give in order to just break through into something wonderful that’s just been waiting for us.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

 On the Verge of Transformation

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Crazy businessman picture by Stephane Durocher from Dreamstime.

I have always been amazed by the number of people who seem to think of work as something of a necessary evil – simply what must be done in order to earn a paycheck.  For so many who toil through their workday, the primary goal is to make it to the weekend so they can really live.  Going through the motions, working side by side with others whose hearts and minds they seldom truly connect with, they withhold the very parts of themselves that make them come alive. 

For some it wasn’t always this way.  Many began their careers ignited with passion and optimism, only to find that their flames began to flicker as they encountered obstacle after obstacle that kept them from achieving what they believed would be success.  Succumbing to the unwritten rules of the organizations and other environments they found themselves in, which suggested they needed to act or think in a certain way to get ahead, they may have slowly sold out on their dreams and relegated themselves to quiet complacency. 

Many of us were not brought up to expect that work would be fun or gratifying in any way – nor should it be.  That’s why they call it work, we may have been told.  As a result, we may have never really expected much from our careers or professional lives.  And as the saying goes, life has a way of living up to our expectations.  In just about every corporation, nonprofit or other organization, you will find people in jobs that do not ignite their talents and passions.  Some remain dormant in those jobs because they fear that if they pursue their hearts’ desires, they won’t be able to put food on their tables.  Many do not realize that there might be a better alternative.

Most of us have learned how to turn ourselves on and off at will, in an effort to spare ourselves the pain of disappointment or frustration – or to maintain what we have come to believe is a professional demeanor.  It is not uncommon to hear people say that they are very different at work than they are at home.  Those golden parts of ourselves that we think we are protecting suffer when we do not let them breathe and interact in the very realms that provide us opportunities to learn more about who we are and what we are here to do in the world.  We miss the chance to become a part of something greater than ourselves.  And the organizations and communities we are a part of miss out on the unique contribution each of us has the potential to make.

We can no longer afford to fragment ourselves in this way, denying the fulfillment of our secret dreams and downplaying the insights we have about what we can do to make life better – for ourselves and everyone around us.  As more and more of us feel the pain that accompanies the denial of our spirits, we start to realize that the time has come for us to bring the totality of who we are to what we do, no matter our vocation, title or role.

We are beginning to awaken to our unique calls to service, creativity and innovation.  As we find ways to unleash our distinctive talents and passions at work, we will significantly increase the quality of our own lives, as well as those of everyone around us.   Corporations that take steps to create environments that allow people to thrive will be met with rich rewards as ingenuity pours forth in ways that lead to increased profit and market share, as well as the creation of self-sustaining cultures that inspire people to achieve ongoing success by doing what they do best.

There are people among us who have the ability to snap us out of our trances – our states of quiet desperation – and help us bring more of who we truly are to everything that we do.  They can do this for others because they have done it for themselves.  They are called leaders. 

You may be one of them.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Boosting Creativity, Productivity & Effectiveness.  Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.