Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

Feel like there’s got to be more to being a leader than running from meeting to meeting, repeatedly fixing the same problems, and beating your head against a wall trying to get people and things to change?

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

We’ve all been to a lot of classes – whether on leadership or related subjects – where we sit passively and listen to someone teach us things from a workbook or a PowerPoint presentation. Some of these classes may have infused us with new ideas and inspirations, others may not have. Either way, the chief challenge is coming back to our daily work and implementing what we have learned. Class or no class, putting into practice the ideas and insights we get on a daily basis is a challenge. It is a challenge because it calls for us to integrate them into a way of doing things that we have established for ourselves over a long period of time.

In order to change, grow or improve in any way, we must consciously look at ourselves – at what is working and at what is not. Often we are so accustomed to running from project to project and meeting to meeting, that we aren’t even aware of the dynamics at play under the surface. This frenetic approach leads to a pattern of similar results, similar experiences, and inevitably similar frustrations, and often the feeling that there has to be more to it than this.

There is.

The truth is, you already possess within you the most significant core essentials you need in order to be successful. The question is, are you using them? And are you using them to the best of your ability? If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how many new tools you acquire or methodologies you learn. Our chief challenge is not to continue looking to others for solutions and answers, but instead to take the time to tap that part of ourselves that remains our purest potential. The prerequisite for being an effective leader of others is to learn to lead ourselves.

This blog post is an excerpt from a longer article, titled “Leader, Know Thyself – Unearthing Your Best Work”.  Click here to read the full article, which includes practical steps for bringing out your best.  For more articles on Boosting Creativity, Productivity and Effectiveness, visit www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

“We can do more good by being good, than in any other way.”     

~ Rowland Hill

Driving to an appointment the other day, I went to make a right turn and couldn’t help but notice the people in each of the cars lined up waiting to turn left.  One woman had a forlorn expression, and her head drooped over her steering wheel.  The woman in the car behind her revealed a smile and an upward glance that seemed full of joy and anticipation.  The face of the man in the car behind her was twisted up and his shoulders appeared to be close to his ears.  His eyes were locked onto his blackberry, which he held in his free hand. 

I smiled as I realized that I could relate to each of these people.  I could have been any of them at any given time.  And then the thought occurred to me that I could be any one of them as the day progressed.  Which would I choose?  The answer to that question could very well determine the quality of my entire day, and could also quite likely impact the quality of the day of those around me as well.

Every once in a while when I go out running I see a little old man riding a beach cruiser.  In the dawn hours, as the sun begins to rise above the horizon, the light on his handlebars shines brightly.  He is kind of a round man with short, fuzzy white hair and bright blue eyes.  He pedals his bicycle so slowly that it is a wonder they both don’t just fall over.  But what is most striking about him is that he is always smiling. 

Every time I see this man, rain or shine, it seems he has something to be happy about.  And his smile isn’t just the polite grin that people often flash as they enter each other’s space.  It is the kind that comes from a deep satisfaction and wonderment with life.  The little light on his bicycle shines brightly at the crack of dawn, but the radiance around him is even more vibrant.  I find myself hoping to see him on my morning runs and experiencing a wave of joy and delight every time I do – feeling lighter and happier just for the experience of having crossed his path.  His presence alone is truly inspiring. 

I think emanating a positive presence is one of the most crucial things leaders can do for people.  And to have this kind of influence and effect on others, you don’t have to have a fancy title, a bunch of people reporting to you, or even be a part of an organization at all.  People pick up, consciously and subconsciously on the energy we emanate – and for better or worse, those we spend a lot of time around will often align themselves with it.  True leaders – in any setting or vocation – are consciously aware of the tone they set through their own presence.  They use it to uplift and inspire others, seeing the brilliance of everyone and everything around them and always reflecting it back. 

I wonder whether that little man on the beach cruiser has any idea of how profoundly he has affected me.  And I wonder if you realize the effect you can have on the lives of everyone around you as well…  maybe without even having to say a word.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

“It is always amazing how many of the things we do will never be missed.  And nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all.”

~ Peter F. Drucker

One day I had the opportunity to listen to Marshall Goldsmith, one of America’s finest executive coaches speak.  Though the man has a number of incredibly insightful things to say on any given moment, one thing he said that day made an impact on me that I still feel years later.  The audience was eager to benefit from his wisdom.  He took the stage and paused a moment before speaking.  Then he told us to hold onto our seats while he told us something we probably didn’t want to hear.

“Those ‘to do’ lists you are carrying around – your inboxes and piles of papers – all those thing you seek to get to the bottom of,” he said.  “You need to realize right now THAT YOU WILL NEVER EVER FINISH THEM ALL.”

I remember my heart sinking when I heard that news, though I knew in my soul what he was saying was true.  He went on to explain that once we grasp this little piece of knowledge we will be so much more productive, effective and creative.

His wise words echo in my mind when I feel I have become a slave to my productivity principles.  How many times did you feel that everything had to be in its place before you could really move forward – start on that project you have been putting off, write that book, return those calls, launch that campaign?  And how many times did you allow your need for perfection to keep you from acting at all?

Now, don’t get me wrong – I do believe order is important.  But it must be in service to our larger purposes, not a substitute for them.  Perhaps there is wisdom in a bit of chaos.  Maybe if we weren’t so preoccupied about planning out every little detail and needing to feel “in control” of it all, we could let go and allow our inner knowing to cut through the piles and tell us exactly what we need to focus on in each moment, whether that be a project or a person.  Perhaps there is inspiration just waiting for us to create enough space for it to get through.  We cannot do this by becoming busier, hunkering down and trying harder to do that which may not even need to be done at all.

The inspiring, confident, courageous voice of a leader often starts as a small still voice that competes for our attention among all the other things we think we need to be doing.  How will you quiet yourself for a few moments today to hear what it is telling you? 

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Stepping Up to Strategic Focus, and Stop the Madness.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles. While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

At the beginning of each of my Transformations in Leadership workshops, I ask participants to think of a leader that they admire and would like to emulate.  Each person then shares with the group what it is about the chosen leader that makes him or her stand out.  Some of the participants select historical figures, some modern day civic leaders, athletes, musicians or public figures.  Many talk about a current or previous boss they’ve had.  And still others will speak of a teacher, a coach or a parent.  The interesting thing about the ensuing discussion about the impressive qualities of these leaders is that it is almost never about what leaders do or have done, but rather WHO THEY ARE. 

 Some of the descriptions that repeatedly top the lists include “honest,” “authentic,” “courageous,” “inspiring,” “sees the best in others and believes in them,” “has vision,” “shows and earns trust and respect,” “communicates directly,” “not afraid to make mistakes,” “humble,”  “connects with people, regardless of title or position,” “walks their talk,” “builds a strong team,” “develops others,” “shares credit,” and the list goes on. 

I began my career teaching people classes on how to lead – on subjects like how to create and communicate a compelling vision, how to delegate, set goals, provide performance feedback, resolve conflict, etc.  What I have realized over the years is that the extraordinary leaders are not necessarily the ones who have mastered all these techniques.  They are the ones who have the ability to speak to our hearts as well as our minds, and to awaken something in people that lies dormant, waiting to emerge.  They then nurture and focus it into the creation of something that makes the organization (or the world) a better place for everyone.  Great leaders learn to do this by first doing it for themselves.  The rest they pick up along the way.

Leadership strategies, tools and techniques fall flat unless the people who employ them have strong personal foundations.  Extraordinary leaders have learned over the years who they are and they bring the best of themselves to whatever they are doing.  Much of their wisdom has come from making mistakes and recovering from them in a way that allows others to benefit.  They refuse to be something they are not and have the courage to take a stand.  They care deeply about others, but are independent of the good opinion of others, and therefore are free to be themselves. 

The best of the leaders, regardless of the role, title, or vocation, bring out the best in people.  Often they see things in others before they are able to see it in themselves.  From this space, their interaction and communication is always with the person one is becoming – the strong, capable, smart, willing, and resilient contributor who then becomes instrumental in translating vision into reality.  The extraordinary leader knows that anything less than this is an illusion.  Great leaders do not make their people great.  They simply help others to see the possibilities and invite them to the table.  They present us with a vision and a choice and create the space within which we can show up and grow.  The rest, of course, is always up to us. 

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Leadership Lit Up, and Igniting a Spark and Fanning the Flames.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles. While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Leadership & Limbo Land

Yesterday I had a conversation with an exceptionally talented leader who went to great lengths to take on a flailing high profile project because he wanted to turn it around.    He explained his desire to continue onto new frontiers of increasingly difficult and expansive initiatives with the simple statement of, “you know, if you aren’t growing you’re dying.” 

Earlier this week, someone sent me an email containing a quote by Jack Canfield who said “Everything you want is outside your comfort zone.”   I had to stop and think about that one, because I wasn’t sure I agreed with it initially.  Lots of things I want are in my comfort zone because – well, they make me feel comfortable.  I made it through that initial period where I didn’t really know what I was doing and finally arrived at the place where I could successfully perform with a minimum of effort. 

But if I’m really honest with myself, I have to say that what beckons to me is outside of my comfort zone.  It is that which I dream about but am not sure how to do – the off road adventures that diverge from the paved path I have become accustomed to traveling.  And there’s danger there – real or perceived, the wheels could come off and I might find myself stranded and quite uncomfortable. 

But as I look back at my life, I realize that those periods of discomfort preceded some of the greatest accomplishments and most gratifying turns my life has taken.  In talking with others, I find many feel the same.  Some of us, like the leader I talked with yesterday, regularly seek out new growth.  Others find that it is ushered in via a variety of doors that seem to be closing and opening or a period of heightened dissatisfaction or restlessness that leads them to ponder what’s next.

Over the last few weeks and months it seems many of my clients have either experienced or are on the brink of undertaking dramatic changes in their lives and careers that will give way to entirely new worlds of possibility and unchartered territory.  I can relate to them, as I feel I am transitioning between two worlds myself – one that is known, predictable, and somewhat effortless and another that feels daunting, overwhelming and mysteriously promising.  I call this place limbo land. 

Limbo land is akin to chaos.  Merriam Webster defines chaos as “a state of things in which chance is supreme; the confused unorganized state of primordial matter before the creation of distinct forms.”  I suppose it is what the caterpillar experiences in the cocoon as everything it has once been completely dissolves to become something entirely new.  It is a period of undoing and non-doing that flies in the face of everything we are accustomed to.  Rather than moving full speed ahead, it is a time for reflection, integration and renewal. 

Yoga instructors often reiterate that it is the four to five minutes of a pose called Shivasana at the end of the class that are the most important.  During this time, the fifty to seventy minutes of engaging and stretching muscles give way to a period of laying flat on your back, letting go of everything and allowing your body to melt into the floor.  It is during this time that all the benefits of the previous activity take root.

As the year comes to an end, we see this practice in nature.  Many trees have lost their leaves and the grass and plants – even our hair grows slower.  Various animals hibernate.  It’s a great time to slow down long enough to look back over the year and reflect on where it has taken us and how it has prepared us for what lies ahead.  As we take stock of all that we have mastered, we can begin to give heed to that which is glimmering on the horizon and honor the ways in which we ourselves are evolving.   From this period of thoughtful reflection, we can revel in the progress we have made and ready ourselves for the adventures to come.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2009.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy A Leader’s Leap and It’s a Stretch.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

The more I work with people, the more I realize how very similar and connected we all are.   At one time or another, we all ponder deeper questions of who we are, what it all means, and how we can take what we’ve got and use it to make an impact in some small (or large) way.  More and more, people seem to be focusing their energy and attention on creating a life of meaning and significance and bringing more of who they really are to what they do. 

This act of bringing out the very best of ourselves and others and focusing unique talents, strengths and energy into something that contributes to a greater good is what I call leadership.  It transcends vocation, title and role.  And it is more important now than ever.

Every day gives us a new opportunity to learn more about what we are capable of, what is possible, and how we can become part of something greater than ourselves.  We learn both through our disappointments and our successes, as well as those of others.  The best leaders habitually look beneath the surface to behold something greater and find a way to leverage it.  There is much to be said on the convergence of life, learning and leadership.  And that is exactly what this blog is about.

I believe there is something to be gained from collectively musing and reflecting on every day experiences.  Perhaps by examining seemingly unrelated events, we can understand and appreciate the synchronistic current that seems to pulse through all of our lives.  In the process we can unearth and harness the raw potential that lies waiting to be rediscovered within each of us – and in so doing, practice true leadership.

I don’t have all the answers.  It seems no one really does.  But I do have a lot of questions.  And sometimes all it takes to find what we seek is curiosity coupled with the awareness that these answers come from many sources.  May this blog be one more source of that wisdom – through the collective pondering and musing of a community of seekers like me and all the people I have had the good fortune to cross paths with over the course of my life.

Welcome friends, and Namaste.

For more on learning from and leveraging your everyday experiences, download Life’s Perfect Classroom at www.DianeBolden.com/articles and subscribe to the Synchronistically Speaking ezine while you are there.